Aroha Wellington: Functions, Events, Parties — Survival Tips

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Come to an event, come and socialise, come so you can 'network' ... NO!!!!

For some (dirty secret, almost everyone) the very idea of coming to a room with music, strangers, and the expectation of performing small talk is the very definition of hell.

At the Aroha Wellington event we have consciously designed the event for everyone in mind, from the gregarious front of house-er to the quiet back engine keeper-upper. The further away from the 'stage' the less formal it will become, and, secret #2, behind the 'stage' will be a quiet area to just hang and not talk to anyone if that's what you want.

Over the years Wellington has seen many many events, from the small works Christmas do to the large "let's get everyone we can in a place and see what happens". I have been involved in many of these and know that "giving it up large" is absolutely not everyone's cup of tea.

To help, guide, and spread some tips and techniques for surviving not just Aroha Wellington but that office function, your first work's Christmas Do, or a just a water cooler encounter with a random professional human here's some excellent pointers from Wellingtonians that know ...

NOTE: the word 'introvert' is used a lot but remember these helpful tips can apply to anyone, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day and for the rest of that event.

Ruth McDavitt

In a wonderful post primarily aimed at students attending a large event Ruth outlined some golden nuggets that we can all use.
  • Remember, word of mouth and the hidden job market is a real thing in NZ, with a ridiculous percentage of roles never advertised.
  • DON'T...
    • Panic.
    • Talk about politics. Or religion. Or any other potentially controversial topic.
    • Drink too much.
    • Waste people's time.
    • Over-stretch.
  • DO...
    • Research who'll be there, think about your goals, think about what YOU can do for THEM.
    • Prepare your intro.
    • Prepare some ice-breakers.
    • Plan your exit.
    • Don't just stick to who you already know. 
For details on that above check out the post from Ruth at Summer Of Tech, a fabulous and long running Wellington initiative.

Victoria MacLennan

If you're gonna network then be prepared and Victoria has the perfect 10 Tips for a great networking experience:
  1. Personal Elevator Pitch
  2. Bring a Buddy
  3. Know what and why you are attending
  4. Prepare 3 x Conversation Starters
  5. Exit Options
    Mansplaining is worthy a mention here too, which I can do as a woman. Women reading this post, if you find yourself networking and the recipient of Mansplaining, Exit Options become invaluable. The other course of action is of course to challenge the man - that's a call you need to make in the moment. Men who are reading this - Mansplaining isn't a feminist attempt to marginalise men (as it was Mansplained to me once), women know stuff, have a conversation with us rather than assume we need concepts explained to us.
  6. Thank the Hosts
  7. Actively Listen
  8. Drink Appropriately
  9. Don't Burn Bridges
  10. Smile and Have Fun!
As with Ruth's tips the detail is inside Victoria's post, have a read.

Eliza Brooke

Whilst not a Wellingtonian Brooke talks good stuff at The introvert’s guide to actually enjoying a party, here's some key sentnces:
If you tend to be more introverted, the realisation that your social battery doesn’t hold a charge for the full duration of a social gathering can bring up feelings of discomfort or shame.

When it comes to managing your social battery at an event, Kahnweiler says, “the real key is preparation.” Thinking ahead of time about how you can make a party less overwhelming relieves some of the pressure in the moment, when you’re already starting to feel stressed and burned out.

If you’re an introvert, you’re already well aware that taking periodic breaks away from the crowd is one of the most effective ways to recenter yourself. As an event is getting started, Kahnweiler recommends scoping out the venue for spots where you can chill out by yourself [behind the 'stage'].

When you’re attending an event with a date or other people, it can be useful to tell them about your plans to slip off, both so that they know what’s going on and to normalise doing so, for yourself and others. 

Naturally, it also pays to charge your battery before the event begins. If I could plot out my perfect party prep, it would involve speaking to no one but my boyfriend for about four hours, during which I’d lay on the couch scrolling TikTok while drinking tea, go for a run, and then take a long shower. 

At the event, take your breaks — and remember that nobody cares that you’ve disappeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes.

Helgoe says talking about ideas rather than people can also be slightly less taxing.

I will leave you with some further reading AND my one piece of advice to anyone attending any such event, remember you can always silently leave at any time, that's ok.

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